This is Torchwood
by vertigoSWAY
Summary: Series of six chapters, five of which explore the members of Torchwood alive at the end of Season 1. Basically a character/show study. Centers around character deaths. You have been warned!
1. This is Captain Jack Harkness

Jack Harkness. That's _Captain_ Jack Harkness to you. Flirts with anything that has a heartbeat, will pull out a gun at any sign of danger and comes in guns blazing. It seems like he'll never stop acting younger than his age. And what exactly is his age? Over 100 last time he checked.

Immortality. Gift of the Gods or a curse from hell? Jack doesn't know anymore. Years and years ago, in the height of the London Blitz – the first time he'd experienced it – he would have thought such an eternal life, filled with never-ending bliss, would be fantastic as an old friend would put it. But then again, it wasn't so blissful now. Each day, the Earth is threatened. Each day he sends them out knowing that they might not come back. Knowing that the stakes are different for him. Knowing that he's playing God way too often. Knowing that the people of the 21st century are no different from his 51st natives.

Humanity is the strength that binds the earth together. Innocent lives are lost too often. Maybe that's why he refused to let anyone interfere as he stood before the devourer of life.

As he stands there, he knows he hates his team but loves them at the same time. As he stands there, his life force being sucked from him in excruciating pain, he forgives them right then and there. And as he stands there, knowing that there is the possibility that this time, he's not coming back… As he stands there, he closes his eyes and lets go, falling into Darkness, Death and Void, knowing that his team is safe. Knowing that those he loves are safe.

Because this is Captain Jack Harkness. Compassionate, caring, loving and a coward that's brave enough to stand in the face of death. This is Captain Jack Harkness. He'll die any day if it means that the world will be safe, for the time being.

Years and years ago, in the height of the London Blitz – the first time he'd experienced it – Jack would have never found himself brave.


	2. This is Gwen Cooper

Gwen Cooper… Williams, now a married and happy woman. Happy as any Torchwood agent can get. Gwen Cooper-Williams, the heart of the group. What keeps them human after working underground for all those years. What keeps them connected and together. The rational thinker. _Is the outside world going to accept this? This is preposterous! I don't think so Owen!_

Yeah. Extremely good for keeping Owen in line. Why didn't they have her earlier? Maybe the medic wouldn't have sulked so much and depressed the entire team.

Gwen Cooper knew that Jack hadn't wanted to do it. He didn't want to step into that shadow. He was scared and she knew it. Scared of what would come out of it, scared of what happened if he didn't come back… if it didn't work.

But she also knew that he had to…

And that it was entirely _their_ fault. He warned them and they didn't listen and opened up the bloody rift. She felt guilty. It was her fault, partly.

Maybe that's why she felt obligated to stay by his side while the others worked off their guilt. Maybe that's why she refused to believe that he was gone forever.

They couldn't leave them now. Not like this.

Maybe it was her heart that made the day right.

* * *

**Normally, I'd Gwen-bash...  
But this is supposed to be an "enlightenment" mojo thing. So whatever...**


	3. This is Owen Harper

Owen Harper. So he drinks. A lot. Gets massive hangovers coupled with headaches after his boss scolds him. He _acts_ like he doesn't care, but his colleagues all know that deep, deep, down there somewhere – no one knows how deep – there's a small shimmer of concern for others. If there wasn't, then why was he a doctor?

The person who makes people better. But every time he saved one, more would just die instead. Every time he rescued a woman from the brink a death, a child would die in her place. Every single time. For every soul saved, another's was damned.

Like his own soul. He's dead and he knows it. _They_ know it. His _boss_ knows it. And Owen knows that he's nothing more than just an animated corpse. No body functions, just thoughts and that's what kills him the most. Because they _act_ like they know what he's feeling. They _act_ like they know the pain. But hell, they _don't_. Not even Captain-Immortal-Flirt. Not even him.

Owen knows he's just a cartoon character. Animation and nothing else. But he doesn't want to fall back into the void again. He's scared of himself and he's scared of where the rest of him is. He's not whole and that's what kills him.

Watching your body decompose right in front of you is not a pretty way to lose your thoughts in. He yells, screams, kicks and punches. He loses his sanity for that moment until the angel speaks. _You're breaking my heart..._

That one statement gives it all away. He's not alone. She's on her own way to the void as well and if she can be strong in her final moments, so can he. He calms down and soothes the woman on the other side. _It's okay. It's okay._ And it is, because today, he's saved everybody.


	4. This is Toshiko Sato

Toshiko Sato: geek, genius and resident technological virtuoso of Torchwood Cardiff. Give her a computer and she'll hack into the government in ten seconds flat. Underneath all that though, there is the human spark of a hopeless romantic. Isn't it obvious that she eyes Owen in the autopsy bay more than she should? Doesn't he _notice_? Even just a bit?

Toshiko Sato the outcast. Everyone else has something. What does she have? She has Gwen, as a friend, but no true lover. Tosh is forbidden to see her mom. Torchwood. Always Torchwood that gets involved.

But now, as she lay on the floor of the autopsy, claimed by the man she loved, she couldn't help but feel that she'd done everything in life already. The computer image on the screen faded away. Years and years ago as she wore an orange prisoner suit, as she was being tortured mentally each day, as she saw no sunlight, as she finally saw salvation in a captain, she would have never thought that her name would be in the history books. History books of Torchwood. She had saved the world and she knew that one single person would remember that for all of eternity.


End file.
